I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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