I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We were destined to go to rehab together
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
