I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
