that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
