so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
