dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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