I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
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