mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
