i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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