My sheets look like a crime scene.
My liver just broke up with me...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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