I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I believe in your delicious