just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
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Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
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We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.