There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
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Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
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wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.