i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
