I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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