he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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