Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize