I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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