I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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