they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
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You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
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We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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