tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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