ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
