apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
