Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
