If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Randomize
