I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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