WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
