But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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