My brain says no but my pants say off.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
