the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Need sex. Gaining weight.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
