they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
