just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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