Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
