ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
