i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We have started to decorate penises.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
