Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
