can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
