TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
