ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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