I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
