Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
