my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
