I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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