shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
