but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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