So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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