If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
