A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
