New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
