so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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