and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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