I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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