very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
