i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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