So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You pole danced in your parka.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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