Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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