where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
