She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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