I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
