sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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