No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
