They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I need to sanitize my soul.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
