He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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