Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
