real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize