i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
