The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
