She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
3pm strippers are depressing
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
